The Team That Moves Without You
I hate managing people. I won't do it.
I have a rule when someone comes to me with a problem: bring at least three possible solutions before you bring it to me. Because if I'm going to have time to do the work that needs me, I need a team that knows how to move on its own.
You can't hire your way to that team. Hiring is important, and I refuse to hire anyone who needs hand-holding, but most people are capable of doing great work without being managed. You decide if that happens or not.
If you talk to your people like their job is to execute your decisions, that’s the job they’ll do. You’ll build a team of task-doers to manage. If you invite them to use their own judgment and rely on their own skill, then that’s what they’ll learn to do.
Most of us do the first, because we're leading with borrowed language. We learned, from the way old bosses talked to us or from people telling us how a CEO sounds, that leading is about setting clear expectations.
That leadership sounds like, "Here's what I expect from you at this company and how we will work." Or, "I need us to double prices" and "This should take a week." Like the bars, baselines, and metrics you'll use to measure their performance.
There are merits to this kind of leadership. Concrete goals and time frames give people clear direction. Explicit expectations give them boundaries. Bars and baselines give them something to strive toward. But it requires a lot of you. You define the role, you set direction, you make the task list, you set the bar, they go meet it.
That version of leadership is based on pushing. You push, they move. That means you can't walk away. Because without you there setting the task, they don't know what to do. Without your expectations, they don't know what direction to head in.
That's not only a problem for your time and energy, but for their hunger. For people to move by themselves and work hard without you there, they need to be excited. If their job is to do as you say, the way you say it, there isn't going to be much excitement. Best-case scenario, you get obedience and they meet the bars you set. But they won't go any further, because they don’t have any skin in the game.
That's not the kind of team I want. I need to be at the front, leading this thing, so I can't be stuck at the back trying to brute-force push the whole team towards our goals. I need them racing ahead on their own.
So I don't push. I lead by pulling.
That means, rather than telling people what to do or how to do it, I invite them to use their own judgment. So, "Here's what I expect from you at this company and how we will work" turns into "I want you doing the best work of your life here. So you have to tell me how to do that for you. How do you like feedback? Let me tell you how I like mine."
That swap puts us in partnership: I give you feedback, you give me feedback. It sets the expectation without setting a ceiling. And most importantly, it teaches them that their opinion and discernment are not only welcome, but are the reason I hired them.
That's what the switch is about: move the thinking and decision making required of a manager back over to the team.
"I need us to double prices" turns into "What would it look like if we needed to increase price in a week? What would your process be like?"
"I want you to be more productive" turns into "How do we reach our goals faster?" or "How do we get you to do more interesting work?"
"This is a waste of your time" or "This is inefficient" becomes "Frankly, this doesn't seem like something worth your intelligence. What do you think?"
The first version of every sentence hides an accusation: I don't trust you to work this out, so I'm going to tell you what to do. Or, I don't think you'll push yourself, so I'm setting the bar. It may feel like you're being clear, but you’re creating dependency.
Inherent to a question is a compliment: I believe you can do this yourself. I trust your judgment and ability. When you say that, and follow through on it, people get more and more comfortable leaning on their own skills. This gives them authority, and that comes with responsibility. They'll work thoughtfully knowing that they have real influence.
When they know they're a part of building this thing, that they're going to use their time, mind, and talent to create with you, then they care. Then they rise and work on their own.
This isn't about becoming equal partners. I'm still the boss. I set direction and I maintain veto power. I back people’s independence up with explicit decision agreements and provide enough context and boundaries to protect the company. But being the boss doesn’t mean being the manager.
When you consistently invite people to rely on their own thinking, rather than yours, you build a team that is hungry, self-sufficient, and self-motivated. That happens in your small, daily interactions, and it’s as simple as turning the answer or instruction you were about to give back into a question.
This week, take one thing you were about to hand over as an instruction and ask for their judgment instead. Tell me versions one and two. Which one feels more comfortable to you?
-Christine
If you want to go deeper
Here's where to start:
⚫️ Private Coaching: for early and growth-stage entrepreneurs who want to lead with more clarity while increasing their resiliency. See if we're a good fit here.
⚫️ The 20 Hour CEO Self-Paced Course: The frameworks, systems, and playbooks to stop being the bottleneck — on your schedule.
⚫️ The 20 Hour CEO Live Cohort: 3 weeks, 6 live sessions. Bring your actual business, rebuild how it runs, and leave with systems already in motion.
